The Beautiful Side of Need

This is where we begin. At the beginning of what our heart wants to express. 
And this is spoken primarily from one aspect; need in relationship with a romantic partner.
Need.
To need.
It has been such a fucked up place for us.
Needing often wasn’t allowed when we were little; wasn’t safe. Needs weren’t met….because the adults in our world didn’t have their own needs met…and so the cycle goes. We became codependent and lived in a warped frustrated never ending cycle and pattern of desperate need….the kind of need that has one believing death is impending should one not received what they want. NOW.
Where we’re always grasping, always holding onto HAVING what we want and that our very worth teeters on our receiving it or not.
Where we are enslaved, perpetually, forever to our want, our desire.
Obsessed.
Addicted.
The original sin.
The forbidden fruit.
‘Forbidden fruit my ass.’ He wrote.
And that night, we stepped into the Garden of Eden.
To know true need, is to be free.
At least, that is how I’m feeling and understanding right here, right now.
To be in complete acceptance of our need to need and just how sacred and beautiful this gift is.
Some would say this is DESIRE and right now, in this moment, today, my heart screams NO! because she knows who she is and what she feels; she knows, and trusts, her truth.
She has known her deep need for touch that is loving and gentle, and rough, primal, yet loving.
She has known her deep need for a voice that is soft, confident, strong, certain, leading, wanting, loyal, committed.
She has known her deep need to know all of herself.
She has known her deep need for eyes, deep like the sea; that hold SO much truth, strength, pain; knowing.
She has known her deep need for arms and a heart that can hold her and allow her the safety and space to BE all of who she is….wild and tame.
She has known her deep need to BE this for him…for others.
She has known her deep need for home; for that space within herself….and the deeply perfect and precious gift of finding that within another….a mirror…and a compliment of who she is.
The place where we look into another’s eyes and see ourselves, ALL of who and what we are, and SO much more.
A place of deep acceptance.
Breath caught in our throat.
Heart beating wildly.
Terror and elation all at once.
She has known her deep need for this.
Perfectly imperfect.
This place of need that is oh so freeing.
She has known her deep need of believing this could be possible.
She now recognizes her deep need to keep believing and to see and BE in it; to live it.
She now recognizes her deep need to believe the Universe has her back; always. That she gets to have and live this gift; that the Universe deeply, truly wants her to have this….perhaps the Universe needs her to….needs her to open and receive it….to revel, create, BE in joy inside of it.
She now recognizes her deep need to receive and accept this gift.
Her head can barely grasp the brevity of what she is realizing….and her heart knows….has always known…and rejoices that the time for this is here.
Her conscious knowing.
Him.
This relationship.
This connection.
This experience….and all that will come of it….all that will be created.
This breathtaking gift.
This confirmation of all she has known…and in the knowing her now deep understanding of her worth, of the magic and power of the Universe, of just how deeply she is loved, admired, and adored; this child of the Universe.
This One, she, who said ‘YES.’ to this experience, in this place, at this time.
She is overwhelmed, in awe, astounded…tears flowing in a steady stream down her perfectly imperfect, beautiful human face.
‘You get to want what you want.’
‘Don’t you see how much I want to give you what you want?’….and she feels, deep inside, in every cell…’How much I need to….because it’s who and what I am…and how much you need to receive because it’s who and what you are…’.
And she lies on his chest, listening to his heart beating as he kisses her head.
And she reads this article (http://lissarankin.com/how-to-be-needy-without-being-codependent) by Lissa Rankin…..in which need is described as,
‘We need healthy food, clean water, shelter, physical and emotional safety, emotional intimacy, and a feeling of belonging to a tribe of people who love us. We need the opportunity to do work that matters—without having to sell our souls for a paycheck—so we can give our gifts to the world and have them received. We need to be loved but we also need a place for our love to land. We need beauty and nature and the opportunity to express ourselves creatively. We need sex and good health and a deep connection to our true self. As humans, we have needs. It’s a simple fact. If we don’t get our needs met, we suffer and/or die.’
And finally so much is clear….another side of need, that isn’t her wounded inner child…
Why she needs his touch, his voice, his eyes…
Why she feels so sad when they part….
Why she feels so antsy, agitated when they haven’t seen one another for some time…
Why her anxiety was so loud that one time…
Why she so needs to belong…
Why she needs sex…
That he feels and needs all of this too…
That it truly is safe to believe they get to be and do this together…
The mind blowing, heart opening gift this is…
That this goes way beyond the codependency she has been so afraid of….
Why she’s been so exhausted….because she’s been holding back, fighting what truly wanted to be and flow….because ‘What if….’…
Yes. What if?
Is it still worth it?
Yes.

 

Completely.
That it’s safe for her to need and to want and to express both.
And it isn’t just with him…it’s all around her, in each of her relationships, and in her creative space.
That YES. She needed to BE all of this for herself first…and now it’s time for both, for her to open to, trust, and receive what she needs from others as well. That this gets to be her new lesson.
Need.
It’s been so taboo.
It’s been revered and admired to be independent.

What of interdependence?
There is more than one side of need, more than one perspective, more than one truth and way of experiencing it; everything.
It’s time to take a good hard look at, and experience the freeing, healthy side, Love.

You Get to BE Fucking Angry

You get to have, own, and FEEL your feelings. If you don’t you become a slave to them.
Be free, Love.
Feel.
It’s safe.
And if you’re wondering how the fuck to actually FEEL, cause aren’t you already? Isn’t that why your life sucks? Because it FEELS awful??? (No. That’s not why your life sucks. And you aren’t truly FEELING if it does)…if you’d love help to turn your life around and have it feeling amazing; to understand, learn about, and work through this…private message me. 
My Unpack Your Heart program might be JUST what you need. ❤️

Healing at our Roots.

Roots.
This has been showing up for me a lot lately and in true, ‘Let’s REALLY and magically clear some shit’ style, I also found myself deeply desiring and feeling called to move some bushes in my yard.
Cuz. Seriously when we do it literally AND metaphorically fucking AWESOME shit happens. ✨
Roots.
Beliefs can be held in our core at the very root of who we are.
At some point, they served us in our life.
Many times, they are passed on to us in our DNA from our parents, grandparents…generations ago.
And it stands to reason, that some beliefs we currently hold, usually unconsciously, no longer serve us.
When this happens, we are out of alignment energetically and our life feels off and messy.
We are forever evolving and growing and shedding what no longer serves.
This is the very literal process of life.
Often this ‘shedding’, or transformation process, requires us to get out our inner archaeologist and do some conscious digging, unearthing, of these deeply held beliefs so that they can be let go.
The letting go…is a dying process and can be beautiful and excruciating all at once.
Sometimes our deeply held beliefs are wrapped up in and around one another; tangled.
Sometimes, all we need do is surrender to our feelings, feel them(which can absolutely be easier said than done), and the beliefs untangle and clear on their own.
Other times, we get to do a bit more excavating and getting conscious about what is at the root of our feelings and/or physical symptoms.
We get to do a bit more work with it….perhaps writing or some special inner child work or other techniques.
The closer we can get to the root belief, which may sometimes say…
‘I’m not enough.’…
‘I’m inherently wrong.’…
‘I learn everything the hard way.’…
‘Life is hard.’… 
and clear it, the more amazing changes we’ll begin to see in our world, and quickly too.
It will astound you. ✨
Roots.
Clearing out at the roots can be an amazing experience and most certainly creates a new foundation from which to create and build the new life we’re dreaming up.
Imagine clearing out the root, or core, belief ‘Life is hard.’ and replacing it with, ‘Life gets to be enjoyable and easy.’
Yes. Just imagine for a few moments…
How might your world begin to appear??? 😉✨

It’s Safe to Bliss Out on Your Life

We’ve been burned…so many times in the past.
Fuck! that hurt.
Taught us to stay small, safe, quiet, hiding, not taking chances, not trusting….in fear.
And it was justified. 
Hot stoves fucking hurt when you touch them and it then becomes completely logical to never touch that shit again; ever.
And this is true…until it isn’t.
Until it’s no longer serving to truly keep us safe.
Until it’s only serving to keep us small.
Until it feels like a prison and we’re going insane with depression, anxiety, sickness and wondering what the FUCK is going on and why we’re SO unhappy.
And when this happens we hopefully reach a point where we’ve had enough and the walls of our prison begin breaking and falling down….
Which probably feels like death and absolute and utter destruction …and it is…only it’s not the end…only a new beginning…YOUR new beginning, free from the prison.
Your new beginning with your new foundation forged in the fires of your own personal hell; a hell you’ve risen from and can never go back to….
And THIS is why it is safe for you to open to, allow, trust, and accept JOY and GOOD into your life…
You’ve already lived in and moved through hell. 
You’ve learned what you needed to learn and transformed…there is only one way to go from there…
And you get to create it everyday…heaven. 
Your own personal heaven; bliss.
It’s safe, Love. 
Take a deeep breath. 
Relax. 
Smile.
Allow YOU to be filled with and to BE in the experience of JOY.
It’s yours.
You created it for yourself.
LIVE and bask in it. ✨

Ravaged. Uh huh.

Yesterday I asked what the word ‘Ravaged’ brought up for people; what they noticed in their bodies when they read it.
I’m so impressed by the responses and courage of those who did.
Thank you. 
Courage means, ‘To love.’.
Words are so powerful, they’re magical, spells all on their own. They ignite responses from our bodies based on our experiences, perception, understanding, and beliefs.
Ravaged is a word that can bring up many different responses.
For some people it connotes violence and pain; destruction and fear.
For others, it puts them in a state of ecstasy and bliss.
The dictionary definition of ravaged says things like, devastate, ruin, destroy.
How can a word that means such destructive things also put people in a state of ecstasy and bliss?
To be fully alive IS to be ravaged.
To be fully alive is to be present to every aspect of life; to be naked, vulnerable, intimate, fully and completely seen in all of our wholeness….our light and our darkness.
To be ripped open, bleeding all of who we are for ourself and others to bear witness.
As women we hold a deep desire to be ravaged by our man; to be taken.
Men, a desire to ravage; to take.
This can be moved out further to feminine and masculine.
There is a part of the feminine that desires to ravage and masculine to be ravaged. It is balance. We are all both masculine and feminine. 
Denying these desires leads to ugly versions of ravage and destruction.
And by all means if this experience has you shutting down instead of opening up, stop and love and honor yourself and your partner and figure out why.
As humans, our deepest desire is to be seen, fully, in our lightest light and our darkest dark, and to be loved in, and for, ALL of who and what we are.
To lay this bare, to be open in this way; to express our desire, and then surrender and allow it to happen, to let it flow through us and take action, takes exquisite courage.
And…
Is the ultimate experience of living; full out.
To surrender, allow, say yes to the most primal parts of ourselves is to love ourselves deeply and to place our very precious and sacred trust in ourselves and another.
These are the primal, savage places of ourselves and primal and savage in our society carry much shame, hate, resentment, grief, and fear.
Thus, we hide. 
Hiding has us shutting down, not showing up, lashing out and protecting, pushing love away instead of allowing it to flow from within us and into us from others.
And this may have been/be necessary for our survival in some situations.
And.
To love, and open, allow ourselves to be loved and not succumb to the shame, hate, resentment, fear takes tremendous courage, breathtaking rewards.
Isn’t this why we signed up to life and choose to enter into partnership in the first place?
To step into an experience, say yes to having a place to show up, in all of our breathtaking, messy humanness…where we are most certainly going to be ravaged whether it’s by life and the experience or also and hopefully in the even more sacred intimacy of our bedroom (or kitchen, or living room, laundry room, garage…), regularly and often.
To grow and step into the next highest version of ourselves.
To have a place we’ve committed to showing up fully as ourselves to love ourselves and another so beautifully it hurts and moves and grows; deepens us.
To revel in the light and see and know the dark and say, ‘ Still. I love you still…and even more for having seen.’
For the magnanimous privilege of loving; deeply, messily; beautifully.
Our relationships are the reason we are here.
Our relationship with ourself, how we ravage ourselves, how we go into our deepest dark and lightest light, and see…and love…this determines the depth and quality of our relationships with others, our experience of life.
In partnership, being in partnership, IS to be ravaged…and the more we open ourselves, show up to the exquisite and terrifying experience of love, the more beautiful it will be.
What we do, how we show up, in our most intimate places and times has a direct effect on our experience and perception of life as a whole.
When is the last time you asked to be ravaged or ravaged your partner?
Or perhaps you never have…
Want to deepen and strengthen your relationship?
Allow Ravage.
Be real and raw….
In your words.
In your actions.
In your sex.
In your washing dishes.
In your work.
In your life.
There is no right or wrong. 
There is your way and your way together, Love.
Be open.
Be vulnerable.
Be courageous.
Yes, take a chance.
Risk.
Something completely amazing will happen.
Promise.
I used to be the person who hid, put up walls to keep herself safe.
That wasn’t working for me; had me sick and miserable in my life.
I sought and found help and…
Slowly, beautifully, over time opened up and am now able to show up to life, open, and still guarded in places, AND willing to continue to open and surrender more and more…to truly live.
This being ravaged thing…in ALL the ways it shows up in my life 😉☺️, is exquisite.
Wanna experience ravaged and exquisite?
I can absolutely help and support you in creating this in your life. 
I’ve already helped others who are now thriving in their relationships.
Get out your courage.
All it takes is one step and then the next and the next.
First step…
Private message me, (second step) let’s talk.✨

Get Right With Yourself and Everything Else Has to Follow Suit

What ever is going on within us is also showing up in our world around us.
It has to.
It’s a universal law; like gravity.
There is no negotiating or contesting.
It simply, IS.
And this, is bloody fucking FANTASTIC news!!!
WHY?????
Because it means WE are in control of our life and experiences.
Now. Absolutely some things show up and we may feel as though we’ve just walked into the land of WTF.
And it is at this point when we get to stop and take a good look at where we are and just what exactly is happening in our life.
We get to re-evaluate and decide if perhaps we might like a new experience.
We get to get clear on what we want to experience instead…and then do the work that is presented to us to get there.
I had several moments several years ago that had me re-evaluating and changing course.
I wasn’t happy in my marriage.
I wasn’t happy with my financial situation.
I wasn’t happy with my health.
I wasn’t happy with my career; my choice to simply be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to be a work-at-home mom.
These are all major places to not be happy…
And after realizing what I really wanted instead, each of these areas was flipped completely upside down, destroyed, and I got the amazing blessing and opportunity to create a whole new foundation for myself, within myself, from which to create the life I really want.
I’m now happier and healthier, more fulfilled, lit up, and prosperous than I’ve ever been.
I’m in the relationship I’ve always wanted and it’s even better than I could’ve imagined, and keeps getting better.
If you’re ready to have a new experience of life; one that has you feeling fulfilled and lit up, ( and Yes, it’s possible and YES you FUCKING deserve it. If it’s on your heart, it’s meant to be yours. Let’s allow it in together.) connect with me here in Messenger or via email from my website here http://jessicasutter.com/connect/.

You are a Gift

There is something about you, a way that you are, that draws people to you…that when you show up to a situation in life, you cannot help but BE this gift.
What is it?
Grace?
Humor?
Strength?
Joy?
Compassion?
Understanding?
Connection?
Sensitivity?
Perhaps it’s more than one thing?
What ever it is, Thank You. 
Thank you for being here.
You are a gift.
It probably feels easy and graceful, effortless…and it is, because it’s how you are meant to show up here.
This is one of your super powers. 
How can you show up with this more often? 
Consciously?
You’re actually a walking gift. 
Your presence wherever you are called to be, is needed. ✨

Allow.

Are you willing to allow good into your life?
Sometimes, we shut ourselves off because we don’t believe we deserve or can truly have awesome things happen for us.
We’ve been disappointed in the past, maybe we’ve even disappointed ourselves.
Maybe we believe we deserve to be punished.
Maybe we’re used to shit happening. It’s our default and we’re afraid to get our hopes up…or that if it gets too good, there has to be a balance to the scales and it’ll come bite us in the ass. 
Things can’t get TOO good. We’ve gotta keep that in check.
Guess what?
The Universe WANTS you happy.
The Universe WANTS you to feel good; amazing in fact.
The Universe is not out to get you or punish you.
There is NO limit to how good it can be…except for the limits you place on what you believe is possible…
And THAT is something you have 100% control over.
What might happen if you relaxed your body and allowed yourself to truly feel good?
And then relaxed a little more…and allowed yourself to feel even just a little better?
I’m giving you permission, if you need it; telling you, reassuring you, that it’s absolutely safe and right and good for you to believe you deserve awesomeness and to allow good…and even better….into your world.
And once you start…it just gets better…and YOU get to allow it to KEEP getting better. 
Willing to try??? 

Breathe.

Today…lately…gets to be time to breathe.

Breath is so important to staying present in the moment…to moving through anxiety and depression.

When we’re feeling anxiety we’re living in the future.

When we’re feeling depression we’re living in the past.

Breath has the power to bring us back, to this moment, to this time, to this place; now.

I have found using this breathing technique very useful and wanted to share it with you.

Breathe in, through your nose, to the count of 6. Fill your stomach with air.

Hold to the count of 6.

Exhale, through your mouth, to the count of 6. Empty your stomach of air.

Hold to the count of 6.

Breathe in, through your nose, to the count of 6.

Repeat for about 10 cycles.

You may find yourself yawning or your eyes watering…maybe tingling somewhere in your body. This is all good. All good. Simply energy moving and flowing again.

Breathe, Love.

All is well.

Right here. Right now. All is well. ✨

Happy March 23rd!!!

I’m giving away a FREE 30 minute Intuitive Coaching and Card Reading session to the 23rd person to register at this link by 7:30 CST today. ❤

http://eepurl.com/bMnOQr

           Wishing you an amazing day!!! ✨